On Becoming a Celebrant - Part 1.
My first two blogs focus on why I chose to become a celebrant. Here I give my view of modern celebrancy and how it fits my values and what I want to do at this stage in my career / life. It is both a personal and ‘professional’ analysis. I know we are often encouraged to put on a professional front and act almost as if there isn’t a real human being behind the role. I don’t want to do that and happily, being self-employed, I don’t have to! I can’t think of a time I ever went into a role purely for ‘professional’ reasons, so I want to share both perspectives.
The first time I experienced a bespoke ceremony was at a friend’s wedding in 2012. I liked it. I liked it a lot. The personalised content included an acknowledgement from both the celebrant and the bride that same sex couples were not afforded the same rights as the couple being wed. It all made for a truly unforgettable ceremony. I have since had occasions to reflect on how modern celebrancy has evolved. I attended some celebrant led funerals where I felt the essence of the person who died was truly captured. I couldn’t help but contrast these funerals to other “one size fits all” ceremonies I have also attended. Such ceremonies seem to be guided by a pre-determined procedure in a pre-written script, rather than by the people being honoured. At that time, it was enough for me to know I would like my own funeral to be personalised when the time came. It didn’t occur to me that I should like to personalise ceremonies for others.
The real change for me came during campaigns for marriage equality, which I supportively followed in Britain, the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. I recalled the celebrant’s words about marriage inequality at that happy 2012 wedding. It occurred to me that the people campaigning for this basic right were also those likely to be pushing the possibilities of how ceremonies can serve us all. That is when I began to think of ceremony as form of community work - an inclusive event holding space for people as they are, and encouraging a collective acceptance of people, as they are. As somebody who has practiced community work throughout my adult life, celebrancy started to feel like something I wanted to do more seriously. I put celebrancy in a mental box labelled “something to come back to when time permits”. I was in the middle of a doctorate whilst also working as a charity chief executive - this was not the time to take a new idea into action. In the meantime, I did lots of activity to help me push through my doctorate, including leaving the role of charity chief exec and becoming a university lecturer. I’m so glad I went through these varied experiences before becoming a celebrant, as they help immensely. My community work background helps supportive conversations with families to plan a ceremony. My lecturing experience helps to address of a large gathering of people and to voice what the occasion needs.
When I reached the stage in my career when I could put down some big commitments, I realised I wanted to bring forward the day I replaced those commitments with celebrancy. So, I did lots of geek-level research into every celebrancy course in England I could find. I plotted their pros and cons onto a table, emailed enquiries to training organisations, interviewed them by phone etc.. I settled on the course that seemed the best fit for me, one delivered by the International College of Professional Celebrancy.
Although I will never relate to the term Professional Celebrant - remember, I primarily see celebrancy as a form of community work - I am happy with the training I took part in. I chose an organisation with good values, a good training programme, nationally recognised accreditation and membership that provides insurance cover and ongoing training. In short, I have a place where I can continually develop as a celebrant, which I value hugely. I must also mention an Irish celebrancy organisation called Entheos, as I am hugely influenced by this group of humans. The Entheos folk do more than officiate ceremonies - they campaign for societal change and inclusion. Thank you Entheos for modelling the kind of celebrant I could become and intend to remain.
I have been looking for celebrants who share my values here in North East England - after all, each of us needs our people nearby to turn to. I am happy to say I am finding more and more good folk each month, including stellar women involved in death and dying as death planners, death educators and death doulas and funeral celebrants- there will be more about this group in a future blog, no doubt, as I hope we will do wonderful things together.
I hope my first blog gives a good indication of my values as a celebrant and a human being. In Part 2 of why I chose to become a celebrant, I will reflect on ceremonies from my own life. I have not yet been the subject of a personalised ceremony and guess I will speak of those ceremonies from that point of view.
Until then, I give you my best wishes.
Kate